I don't know why i'm blogging so frequently when i still have lots of studying undone. haha, whack myself for being so distracted.

Anyway, Zhi Zhong kor, HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY!
Hope you have a smashing 21st birthday. It's your special day today, really hope you have a fun filled and blessed one. Just wanna say that its a real blessing to know you, to 'acknowledge' you as my 'kor', to spend memorable memories with you and the rest in Acqua. How we often teased each other, laugh with each other, crap with each other, listen to each other, confiding, comforting and encouraging each other. Thank you lotss. you rock! may you continue to light up ppl's lives okie! take care kor! ;) and once again, happy happy birthday!

And HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MAGDALENA too!
I know she won't see this but anyway, just wanna wish her happy bday =) It's been so long since i last see her..say sec 4? She's one gal i will nvr forget..i remember the times she stood by me, the times she comforted me, gave me advice and listening to me. She was one of my closest friend in secondary school..but sadly, we drifted apart after sec 4. Yet, i have not forgotten her...and its nice to know that she hasn't forgotten me when we smsed each other today. Hope to meet up soon with her and catch up. really would like to know how's she's like now, curious to know if she has changed in looks, and hope our once close-friendship can be rebuilt once again. may God bless her in every part of her life.

anyway, my mom was packing some stuff at home and opened a photo album, containing honeymoon pictures with her and my dad. awwww...it was sooo sweet. and she was so pretty (ok correct that, she's still pretty now. my prettiest mommy) she was and still thin! I exclaimed when i saw her pic, "how come so thin?". and she said her waist line was like 22-23. GOSH. *envy and pouts (how come i dun have it! haha) anyway, she was really pretty! like some model..lucky daddy heh. and my dad, haha looking so cool in the pics. they looked so loving awww. their honeymoon is really what i want my honeymoon to be like in the future. haha i was like..wow. They went to aussie, new zealand..all the grasslands, mountains, flowers, farms..how sweet. their blissful marriage is i guess, something everyone wld hope for. =) really happy for my parents! haha though i know its weird saying it. but i'm really thankful for them, thankful that my mom is ever so tolerant when my dad gets unreasonable, thankful that my dad doesn't any o how blow his top at my mom, thankful that both of them love each other till today, thankful for their existence for without them, i won't be here today.

haha. my mom just came into my room. and she really surprises me sometimes. my lappie was playing jay's 'qian li zhi wai' and when she heard that song, she told me she know that song..even the title! wow..trendy mommy. =)

ok, davina, enuff of blogging!!! i'm outta here! ;)

pics pics and more pics

bbq after canoeing from kallang to ecp

and this is what will happen when i get bored...and there's a camera on hand..















me and berenice!











joanna and me











kill jevon! :P













i just had to spoil the pic.. =P

the 3 self-claimed charlie angels hehe

canoeing 1 star course

I SURVIVED!!!

thank God! When the course first started out yesterday, gosh, i didn't know there were so much skills to pick up. I actually got quite stressed, afraid i cant apply them and the instructor was quite serious. =X Anyway, i've learnt quite a bit...capsizing, rescuing, draw stroke, reverse strong, forward pull and all...rescuing is really tiring anyway. capsizing was hmm quite fun though quite scary at first...i had to capsize like 3 times coz i keep coming out of the water from the wrong direction! then kelvin let me off coz he realised i just have the natural tendency to float out from that direction..hahaha...u know, i really just floated out after i came out from the kayak underwater..and i knew i was in the wrong direction, so i wanted to go back to the water and swim across to the right direction..but can't coz the floating device wldn't allow me to. haha..quite funny actually.

In all, it was really tiring. Been so long since i felt so drained out physically and mentally. My muscles are really sore now, and i'm tanned. BAH. i put sunblock already... =( and i got sea sick! felt so giddy esp at east coast since the currents were quite huge. the drift was quite big. Anyway, i kayaked from kallang to east coast, and back to east coast for the xpedition. The rest of the time was practicing strokes and capsizing and all...was quite shiong actually. Lucky i got partner! and i'm really thankful and touched that jian liang went to help me buy giddy pills coz i was feeling quick sick when we were doing rescuing at east coast. SO HEAVY LA THE CAPSIZED KAYAK! haha and they made us do like 4-5 times. gosh.

and guess what, my instructor is my brother's friend. and he got so shocked. and kept threatening me that he can fail my assessment. aiyoo see wad happens when there's too many connections.

BBQ was alright. when a group of arnd 15 guys gather together, what are the topics u all normally talk about? i got so disgusted with their conversation topics. so insensitive to gals arnd. sigh. they got so excited talking and i was just dumbfounded and speechless that i made my way to the toilet. hear no evil.

slept in the tent at east coast. was really cold coz the breeze was very strong. the floor was so hard, it felt so uncomfortable. and it was sandy too..haha..woke up so many times in the middle of the night.

Hmm on the way back from east coast, i was really worried i cldn't do it coz i felt quite sick and i didn't have much energy left. i tried to hum 'God will make a way' and prayed that God will give me strength =) tried to come up with conversations with my partner, come up with lame jokes and asking ppl to sing along and entertain me. haha..With God's grace and mercy, i reached the shore safely...really thank God.

Now, i'm quite worried. 2 star course gonna commence in 2 weeks time and i've do it alone this time. no idea how i'm gonna do it. and i realised every comm member has to lead in xpeditions n probably have to do it alone. HOWWW...big sigh, God help me!

anyway, though it was really tiring, it really tested on my endurance, perseverance and faith. There's much to learn from this experience really..how i cannot do this alone, that i have to get the support from team membres and God. In the middle of the sea, there's no way u can turn back..no one is gonna go back with u. U just have to move on. really pushed myself all the way. thank God for journey mercy. To all those who prayed for me, thank you =) really appreciate it.

[and i think you're right. i didn't think it was anything back then...but u felt there was smth fishy,. and now, i really think there might be smth going on. i hope things won't escalate to the level where i've to hurt anyone.]

and my mid term! SIGH. i only have 3 pathetic days left. HOW HOW HOW! gonna depend on God again! =) i'm bounded by limited human strength. Without God, i can do nothing! my faith has to pull me through the next few weeks. i must stay strong...u too k...

thank God for friends

SANDRA! you are such dearie.. =)

just when i was unconsciously about to fall asleep, my maid came to the room and passed me a letter. I was surprised to receive a mail, its been so long i get one..when i looked at the handwriting, i knew instantly it was you. haha...i opened it excitedly, and saw 2 postcards, nicely written with a sweet yellow ribbon on it. i'm so so so touched bitsie...it was so sweeet.. your encouragement, your motivation and its so very nice to know that no matter what happens, you'll be there for me. =) love ya lots bitsie! cheered me up a whole lot after reading that sweet little note from you to me! cont to fight on with our bitsie power k, i'll be there for you too no matter what! love yaa!

and to you, thanks for your constant encouragement too! am always happy to hear from you no matter which communication mode u used. =) though i was really unproductive today, and have a high probability of not being able to finish studying by the end of the mid term break, and probably feeling unconfident now, i am still happy today..coz of my deariess =) thank God for them! its nice to know that i'm not alone! we'll run the race together and hold on to our dreams! ;)

ok i have just roughly packed for my canoeing course tmr! am looking forward to it now since i heard i don't have to do it in singles..phew..i hope its whole load of fun! and goodness, its 8.40 already...i better go start studying...i'm quite screwed...coz i'm so very distracted. heez..i need prayers to focus! anyway, to all my friends, alll of you will be kept in my prayer too..just know that my ear is always available for all of you! my hugs too! heeez HUGGIES! =)

take care everyone! lets draw strength from Him..when it seems like we can't go on any further, when it seems like its the end of the road, He'll be there to guide us out of the darkness and pull us up from the pit. He's a light unto our path.

why - nicole nordeman

The first time i heard this song was in sec 2 or sec 3. I liked the song instantly.. It's really touching...it can really make one tear.

Living for Him

It's the sabbath day once again =) praise the Lord

Today's service was refreshing. My church celebrated Children Ministry sunday today..and the kids were really enthusiastic. It's just so heartwarming to see these little children of God praising Him with their smiles, their voices, their movements. really thank God for children. They are such little blessings..

Sermon though simple, but contains a great meaning in it. It talks about getting R.E.A.L. (Relationship, excited, approving, live) Basically, we need to have a strong relationship with God, be excited to know Him, live a life that is approved by Him and always living to glorify Him. It just reminds me of how i'm not living a God centred life now. and i thank God for this reminder. I realised i've been too focused on academics, on the numerous group and canoeing meetings, so much so i've put God aside. However ashamed i am, i repent. I questioned myself today, asking if i want to spend my uni life cooped up in my room, studying all day long and get the results i want..or reaching out to people, bring them to Christ and doing His work. It then dawned on me that, these results, no matter how good or how bad..it wont carry with me to eternity. I want to lead a balance life, one that enables me to touch other ppl's lives, yet at the same time not neglecting my studies too. Perhaps i'm too easily influenced by situations around me...when datelines come, i tend to focus more on work because i get stressed and want to get it done. At times like these, it seems hard to deal with these datelines and yet at the samme time, spend time with friends going out and all...this one thing i have to grapple and learn.

i want to lead a God centered life and not a life revolving around my ambitions, goals or even ppl's expectations of me. often, i'm tempted to study rather than spending my quiet time with God..tempted to chat rather than to pray..tempted to stay at home rather than going church..all these temptations i want to overcome. I know God will always provide a way out for these temptations..i'll keep trusting and know that God will provide. My life is complete because i know God. His love alone can change lives..how mighty that is. let us stop focusing on ourselves, but shift this focus to Him.

God is behind you to support you.
God is in front of you to lead you.
God is beside you to comfort you.
God is in you, to love you.

Thank you God for creating me..

Reminiscing my time in KPMG

My manager!












Karen! my direct senior..really patient and understanding =)













my dear meiling! i miss her the most!!!!! love her lots lots...without her, i'd prob wun survive in kpmg for 5 mths..she has taught me so so much...there's endless things to talk abt when i'm with her...she really rox!













haha handsome guy..











the temp staff i worked with! great bunch of ppl =)

only posted a few pics..started to reminiscise when i was browsing thru the pics in my com...though there were ups and downs working at kpmg, i've really learnt quite a bit abt the working world..it was tiring, stressful, but enjoyable and definitely an eye opener..thank God for that opportunity i had.

Happy birthday bitsie bao ka liao!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SANDRA YAM (MUSKEBBIT BAO KA LIAO)!

Hope you really had a blast for ur bday this year! Yuting n i planned 2 surprises for you! At 12am, the start of your birthday, i tried to trick you to come my room by saying there's a beetle that i need you to help me remove in my toilet. but i think apparently, u knew smth was fishy but still played along..haha..gd, at least u played along! At the meantime, dear yuting was hiding in the toilet with all the gifts on the toilet bowl, and she holding on to our hand made heart shaped jelly..waiting to surprise u. =) Hope you really like all the gifts! esp the cushion yuting and i designed and sewed!

We had so much fun that night, happily eating the jelly (lucky its edible!), singing songs, laughing and laming arnd...and u and yuting same kind..cannot cry one.hahha..ok i sound sadistic. we laughed and talked quite a bit that night..and you two slept over! yay..it reminded me of the time we spent in KL...sleeping together in the hotel. It's so warm to have u 2 sleeping with me haha..and san discovered someone in our midst can sleep talk haha..(hope it wasn't me =X)

Today, yuting and i went to k box earlier to decorate the room with balloons and happy birthday banner. Hope you like the design and surprise! haha it's like some bday party la! i'm sure u were really surprised today! and we had so much fun again singing and getting high! =)

Bitsie san, are u touched! u better be! we put in a lot of effort and time! haha i even brought my fridge from my house especially for your jelly! or else i wldn't even be bothered to carry such a heavy fridge to my room haha...even my parents were mobilised to help me! :) haha, but now its a gd thing i have a fridge heh heh..can put more after eight chocolates hehe! in all, just wanna wish u a happy happy birthday from the bottom of my heart. ur bday is very special coz u're special! love ya! (give u a warm tight bitsie hug) =)

yuting, i had a great time meeting up with u to do the jelly and cushion and decorating k box room! we succeeded! yay! give u a pat on ur back! kudos to us! =)

birthday celebrations make me learn a lot haha..now i know how to sew and cook a little!

love ya bitsies! time spent with u 2 is always so fun and memorable =)























































and to you...hope u feeling better alright...will continue to keep you in my prayers. things will work out, dun worry. =) stay strong! u've got my support always! ;)

-----------------------------------------

i'm really really busy this coming week...i'm worried i can't cope.. i've got like almost 10 things on my agenda to complete during the weekend but time is so limited..dunno wad to do. got family dinner n gathering tmr and church on both days. I'm so screwed. hope i can survive this coming week. friends, pleassee do keep me in your prayers! thanks, appreaciate it lots! i'm drawing strength from Him..coz i really can't do this alone. i'm gonna struggle with little sleep this weekend.. =(

CONGRATSSSS DEARIEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ME SOOOO HAPPY FOR U!! =)

CONGRATULATIONSSS!!!!!

God's just sooo wonderful and amazing isnt it?! Praise be to Him!

Both of us know how concerned u've been over your exam grades..the torturous period u've to go through from the end of your paper till results day, today. I know it all and i know the pain and struggle u went through, especially the fear u had of failing the paper and having to retake it. i know it all. and understand how u felt from then till now.

but our prayers were consistent. We have been praying and praying, that God would do you a miracle. He's faithful indeed.. =)

I'm glad u pulled through this hurdle, though tinged with fear, i know you put in all your heart and soul to keep your faith going. And God has blessed you with decent grades.

You did a good job dearie, i'm so so proud of u. This i say from deep in my heart.

Continue to strive for excellence, work hard not only academically, but spiritually k..remember to give thanks to Him too ya.

Prayers always work..trust us in this. =)

i'm really happy for you, looking forward for our sumptuous supper on sat!! my treat! ;)

I just settled down..its 9 pm. I had my DG (Discipleship Group) from 6-8 just now.

I said the salvation prayer today.

Josephine (my DG leader) asked me when i accepted Christ, if i've said the prayer of salvation before and all. Well, i don't have a specific significant event that made me accept Christ. In fact i don't know when i started accepting Christ! And i can't remember if i've said that prayer before..coz if i did, it would be because i followed pastor in saying that prayer, usually after sermons.

During DG today, somehow i felt different. As we were learning about God, i kinda have this feeling of unworthiness. I felt like a total wreck, a terrible sinner, unworthy for God's love. and yet, i'm thankful to know God's promise for me, that He has given me eternal life, and this life is in His son.

When Jo asked for prayer requests...i told her that i want to be prayed for deeper faith with God. These few days have been pretty bad. I felt stressed, weak, lost, empty...and i wasn't really myself. It's as though something came over me and i just tend to put God aside. Right now, i'm praying to get back to the right track. I want to put God in the centre of everything..no matter how busy i am, how many projects i have, still, ultimately, He must be the focus in my life.

Without Him, i can do nothing. With Him, i can do everything.

I wanna keep on holding on to my faith, never letting it go...

everyone is special to at least someone...there's one great guy who will always believe we're special coz He created us. This great guy loves his own creations, and we are part of them. Be joyful and glad we're part of His wonderful creation.

everyone is a blessing to someone. even a smile can do wonders. we probably just didn't realise it ourselves. even a simple hug can offer great comfort to someone in distress...

u see..God didn't make human beings as individual entities..we're linked to each other by language, race, culture etc, so we can connect and make a difference to each other's lives. it's a blessing how we can enter ppl's lives and leave footprints in their hearts.

love others just as how God has loved you. Let's share this magnificent and selfless love God has given us. this gift of love creates miracles...blessing others is not a chore, nor an obligation...it's a joy and privilege... it always feel good knowing that u've made a positive impact onto someone's life, u can trust me on that.

imagine the whole world filled with love..how amazing that would be.

i am no superwoman

i'm really drained out..

i've been sleeping for approximately 4-5 hours every night for the past whole week. It's tiring and yet the workload keeps piling up. I guess i have been meeting up with too many different groups of people haha..though i really enjoyed it, i think i need to pull my brakes a little.

i'm back home now..back at jalan kathi, home sweet home..

its really nice to be home. when the gates opened and my father drove in to our home, my mom was there doing gardening and gave me a warm wide smile. aww...and my maid came and asked me how was my stay...aww i feel loved.

and my mom first remark was, 'wei she me zhe me shou?' meaning why am i so skinny? i was like..huh? got slim down meh? she kept insisting i slimmed down quite a bit...even my aunt told me i grew thinner last sun. then just now, i went to look at myself through the mirror..realised my face really grew thinner. think this is wad happens when i sleep late, and get stressed.

i am no superwoman..i am trying to struggle everything together..here's wad i have:

1. CSC reading programme
2. Canoeing comm (if i get it)
3. CCC Discipleship group
4. CCC weekly life meeting (not sure if i'm going to help out as keyboardist)
5. Church SYC (senior youth camp) comm
6. Follow up every sat
7. YAM (young adults ministry) every sat
8. Church every sunday
9. Tutorials every week
10. CTW individual assignment, CTW group assignment, MNO project, FNA project (all occuring almost simultaneously!) meaning lotsa group meetings! =(
11. Mid term tests

I'M SO GONNA DIE... i'm starting to feel stretched..there's so so so much to do...and i really have not much time.. i'm gonna sacrifice my msn and sleep...or else i really won't be able to cope!! Really need to draw God's strength...and constantly keep Him in the centre of my heart.

I'm am no superwoman...but i have God as my superman.

- it's only the 4th week of school... -

It's been approximately 3 nights spent in PGP.

I'm quite satisfied with my room and all. Frankly speaking, i thought i would be scared and all because after all, this is the first time i am staying away from home. And knowing me, i'm pretty dependent. My parents and friends were concerned that i wouldn't be able to sleep well on my first night. On the first night, my mom smsed me, called me to ask me what i ate, how's everything, if i've taken my supplements and all...even my bro msged me on msn to ask to see if things were alright. I'm so so blessed. =)

Thank God i have been sleeping well, eating well, and having fun too. I'm quite amazed that i'm not really that fearful being alone in this foreign place. seriously, if u have no friends in pgp, it's really very lonely and sad. luckily i got sandra! haha u rock gal...it's been so fun visiting ur room, crapping and laming arnd, and having u, min hwee n yuting visitng my room eating snacks (8 o'clock! haha), singing with my media player, laughing, soft toys mini fight and all...hahaha..it's fun! like wad u all said, my place is very suitable to 'nua' ...u guys are welcome anytime k! and yes, mh if u wanna stay over, come come! =) got enough space for u..just dun snatch my soft toys away hahaha! =)

but...i've been too slack...i haven't been really muggging..and i'm worried. coz i have to maintain cap. sigh. my engines have to start working...but there's so much other activities, like welcome tea, interviews, mentor mentee session and so on! really hope all these stop soon...

oh! and i had a wonderful time with my church friends today. gavin, joanne, charmaine, andrew, JJ, amanda, guo nian, john, sophie! i was laughing pretty hard esp when JJ keeps self praising himself, making gavin feel 'tah bu leh tahan' haha...they were so funny. it's nice to gather for fellowship once in a while.

sigh. i miss home....i miss my mom's naggings, i miss home food, i miss eating dinner with my family, i miss watching tv with them, i miss my family member's voices, their laughter, and i miss my room, my house, everthing. but its time i learn to be independent.

everyone is working so hard. and here i'm slacking and fooling arnd. i'm stressed! boo hoo...but i just have to follow the current and push myself. if only i could buy time...

Follow up with Gen was great today. We talked about temptations basically. Indeed, temptations come from the evil one and it ranges from selfish desires, jealousy to even lust. We humans have been tempted in many ways but we probably didn't realise that Jesus too was tempted in every other way like us. But yet, He was without sin. Temptations are hard to get rid off, so often, we are tempted to cheat and to lie. These little temptations from the evil one tend to stray us away from the right path God has laid for us. More often than not, due to wavering faith and the lack of trust, we succumb to temptations and thereby straying us away from the right path. However, God is gracious, He will never leave us alone. Here's a verse which i really memorised from follow up.

Assurance of Victory 1 Cor 10-13
"No temptation can seized us except what is common to man. And God is faithful, He will not let us be tempted beyond what we can bear. But if we are tempted, He will provide a way out so that we can stand up under it."

So even though we'll be tempted in many ways, tempted to steal, tempted to be selfish, tempted to worry unnecessarily, tempted to rush, tempted to procrastinate etc, God will eventually provide a way out for you. We should take heart that God will make a way, even it seems that there's no way.

As for me, i've been tempted in many ways. Guess jealousy is one of them. Jealousy over people who can achieve greater things than me..and also, tempted by the evil one to be unconfident, paranoid and also fickle. These are heartfelt feelings and i guess to some of us, its not easy to list it out for fear of embarrassment. But everyone is not perfect, let's just humble ourselves and change with the Holy spirit guiding us. I've been praying for a long time, that God will remove these temptations, that i will be able to stand up against the evil one and be strong. It's not easy really, but 1 Cor 10-13 promises that God will provide a way out. And Gen is right, perhaps i should take some to reflect on why i'm feeling jealous. Is it because i'm not contented with what i have? and why should i be since God has given each and everyone of us different gifts.

For cell, we talked about inner peace and it really struck me that hey, how do you know if the peace comes from Him? What if it's not from Him? There are 2 types of peace. One comes from the Holy spirit and the other, comes from the world. The peace that comes from the world arises due to circumstances. For example, when we're successful in terms of career, studies and marriage, then we start to feel peaceful. In other words, we feel peaceful only when everything is smooth and when the road gets rocky, we start to feel uneasy and lose this sense of peace. This kind of peace is from the world, not from Him. Inner peace is something that is beyond human imagination, meaning even when things are in total mess like bankruptcy, failure in relationships and all, you still feel at ease because you know God will provide. For example, Joab was tested in so many ways, but yet He still continue to trust in the Lord and know in His heart that ultimately, everything will be alright. The peace that he gets comes from the Holy spirit.

Then you may ask, what if the success you get in life are God's blessings for you? We probably feel peaceful about it, but is the peace coming from God or the world? Like what ben said today, at situations like this, we have to step out and put ourselves in a different context. We should ask ourselves if we're able to give away all of the blessings we have now, and yet feel peaceful about it. If we are able to do so, then this peace comes from God. Take for example Abraham, he was willing to sacrifice his son when the Lord asked him to. Then, the peace when u get when u're feeling blessed comes from Him and not the world.

The peace that comes from the Holy spirit transcends all circumstances and it's really amazing, to me.

How then can u feel this peace? There are 4 ways basically. Firstly, it is through prayer and petition. Phil 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus". I love this verse by the way =) Secondly, we have to let the holy spirit take control over our lives. Thirdly, we have to trust and keep our eyes on Him and lastly, constantly read His word.

Having this inner peace within you, you will be the centre of God's will and it gives you this confidence that whatever decision you make, it will be according to God's will and therefore, you're on the right path.

"Peace i leave with you; my peace i give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid" John 14:27

The evil one is always there but we should not fear. Instead we should always have this confidence in us that God is with us. If He is with us, no one can be against us. Let us continue to seek this inner peace, a gift from God, by constantly keeping our eyes on Him.

There may be difficult times, but remember, God will never give us anything too hard to handle. Everything is possible through Him and with Him.

Neoprints frenzy

It's been some time since i last took neo prints already..so we took it today and boy was if fun...had a great time with mh, san, hui lin, min joo =) laughed and crapped so much! and san was so super high..ok i think i was a little high too.. it was madness, we sang and talk with funny accents like nobody's business..and how we got so high talking bout k box though we didn't go for it in the end. san, soon k! =) anyway, san got potential to be translator! i guarantee heh heh...i like ur disco song! though its only one line haha...its so funny! ;)

















san, we seem to be the hungry ones in the pic!

















if only humans can fly...i wld fly up to heaven for a visit

















ha! i love this pic! mh so cutee la..

















ok supposed to give the 'seh' look which i suggested..end up i odd one out..giving a dumb look! oopss paiseh ah..