God is good, all the time!

I'm really thankful, especially when i'm in the midst of hectic schedules, that people are praying for me and have shown concern in one way or another. The simplest form of sms or mere tagging on my tagboard warms my heart. Thank God for you all, for being blessings in my life.

God is wonderful and awesome, really. Just a few days back, i was feeling really up to my neck. so stretched, as though i couldn't go on anymore. (as evidenced by my previous post) But now! despite knowing that i still have mountainful pieces of work undone, there's this sense of inner peace within that He will provide. and its inexplicable, i can sense a tinge of calmness, of course coupled with some stress and worries still. Yesterday, i had my DG and it was good! It was such a splendid time talking with li jing and my dgl, josephine, about issues relating to life. I asked a number of questions, which probably seem mundane to some. But i'm inquisitive in nature i feel haha, always seeking answers to my questions. For example, i asked why we, Man, have to suffer the consequences of Adam's and Eve's sin. Why must there be the tree of Good and Evil in the garden of Eden in the first place? Why can't God just forgive all our sins and not sent Jesus to the cross? It's indeed enlightening to hear what Joe has to say to my questions. =) Thank God for that opportunity really. I still have many questions, but i know slowly and steadily, as i continue to read His word, i will gain wisdom along the way and grow. Stir concert was great too! went with 2 of them after our DG. There was a variety of songs, and what struck me most was the sharing session by one of the band members, about how we can find freedom because we have Christ in our lives. It was inspiring and touching as he shares his testimony. Oh, and their composed songs really relate to our lives in general. For example, they had this song 'masquerade' which talks about how people put on masks all the time, and the thousand faces one has. Really thank God that people were brought forward in the event, that there was one who received Christ that night! how wonderful! =) Praise God!

Today, i was late for church. Supposed to meet my SYC comm to put up the hangers at ROL (River of Life). Sorry! was delayed due to make up lecture and i also kinda fell asleep. =X my bad! but it was really nice! with all the hangers hung up! and we had a prayer session for SYC. It was really good. Can feel that God is working within our team, that this camp will not be for us to have fun, but to expand His kingdom and bring more to Christ. Will cont to keep SYC in prayer!

cell was good too! wow, today's attendance was really good! Today, we talked about 2 signposts, mainly The "Stop" Sign & The "fork in the road" sign. Waiting demonstrates faith in God instead of ourselves. Because we dont' want to regret in the future, it is vital to wait for the Lord. We must always be committed to the Lord to wait for what He provided. We have to believe that what God provides is better than what i can do by myself and we should never be impatient. Must always fix our eyes on Him, and not light our own fires and make hasty decisions.

Isaiah 50: 10-11.
" Who among you fears the Lord and obeys the word of his servant? Let him who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God. But now, all you who light fires and provide yourselves with flaming torches, go, walk in the light of your fires and of the torches you have set ablaze. This is what you shall receive from my hand: You will lie down in torment."

The Fork in the road sign is about the "sound mind" principle. We should always have the mind of Christ. 2 Tim 1:7 "For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline". Discipline here means " a sound mind" or "sound judgement". Thus, God gave us a mind that works. If we are walking with Him, we dont' disengage our brian but we use it. God created us with minds, and He intends that we use them. Yet, there is danger in trusting too much in our own logic. One near-fatal flaw we have is our innate tendency to "lean on our own understanding". Proverbs 3:5-6.

Matthew 22:37. "love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind". W should love the Lord with not only our hearts, but minds as well. Often, we try to separate the intellectual from the spiritual. But God, who created the mind, delights in our putting it to use. Using it properly should move us to love Him more.

The key to the sound mind principle is being in right relationship with God. Only "he who is spiritual" can operate with the mind of Christ.

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Most of what i've written is taken from this book i'm learning in cell. This book is really good. Very apt to real life issues. Things about the heart and mind and all, how we should make decisions, seek counsel and everything... It's good =) Thank God for today's cell. and reallly wanna thank those who have listened to my prayer requests and prayed for me. Prayer works wonders!

These few days, i feel that i'm getting closer and closer to God, depsite how stretched i may be. It's been my desire to be spiritually revived and to know God more and more each day. I realised God is always there for me, it's just me being so overwhelmed with work that i have neglected Him. Really, spending time with God is so valuable, much more valubale than studying for exams. Of course, i will cont to work but i'll give a portion of my time to Him everyday coz i know He will provide and all i have to do is to trust in Him.

Follow up with Gen after service tmr! =)

and yes, i've got to rush through my work again! the weekends always pass very fast like a bullet train! its sunday already in a few hours time!! heez, take care everyone! HUGS! =D

I'm really tired...worsened off with my headache right now.

yet, there are so many things bombarding my mind, pestering me to do them.

i know i can't put all these aside for too long or there'll be consequences that i've to face.

i just want peace. and shut myself off this complicated world, full of complex emotions, stress, problems coupled with happiness here and there. just temporarily.

i need a breather.

but i've got so many datelines to meet. ARGH.

think i need to be alone, to find myself back, to find inner peace, to rebuild my energy once again. i feel like a withered plant right now, lacking the energy to move on and grow.

peace out. hope i get thru this period.

ing - lucky star

hee san! i'm kinda addicted to this song! thanks for intro-ing it to me! haha it prevents me from sleeping. =) our next k box session MUST sing this okie! sure get high together!! =) we're all itching to go k! haha

been busy!!!

projects and more projects...

publicity and more publicity...

and the never ending tutorials and lectures...

i feel stretched. been feeling really tired these few days....i have barely 4 hours of sleep each day this week. and my days are really long..8am to perhaps 7-8 pm at night. that explains why i hardly blog these few days... =) plus the taggy board is so irritating haha.

i've been putting a lot a lot of effort into my projects...probably spending most of my time on project meetings and all. i hope it all pays off. and i'm really thankful for my project groups esp for CTW and MNO. my project mates are lovely...cooperative, funny, friendly, sensitive, understanding... really, i can't thank God more. It's been such an enjoyable time working with them. MNO project will be due next wed and we had such a fun time doing the video though meetings were always so long and tiring for us. CTW first draft will be due tmr...i really appreciate my CTW group. =) they are such darlings...we do eveyrthing together..even the writing of the entire project. Perhaps its more inefficient this way, but the process of brainstorming and doing it together leaves memorable memories. How we keep eating and craving for eng chicken pie, and laughing at our own silly creative ideas for our recommendations. we are one creative and crazy group...we even call ourselves the "Democratic Youth Society" how silly. sometimes, ctw makes us so high we just started crapping and laughing all the way. braindamaged heh. i just printed the first draft..and its really pretty =) hope everything goes well!

but i know life is not all bout studies and canoeing. despite all the busy schedules and all, God is still in the centre of everything..that i know. Without Him being my focus, everything else is meaningless and it makes me feel empty. in everything, i'll still give thanks no matter how rotten or how tired i feel at times. I'll cont to draw strength from Him. =)

and min hwee...i'm so happy u are willing to join canoeing! hee..and sandra! it's always enjoyable having dinner with u..just sitting at our usual place in PGP and crapping =) i like our dining spot btw! so nice to eat dinner there. and my dear yuting...where are u?! i miss u gal...update me and san okiez!!

and jess dear...take good care of ur health with the haze and all. hope internship going well for u! keep going k!

i'm worried for my subjects...esp my fna. i just have some fear for it...pray God will guide me through it. sigh. there's so much studying to do..yet i'm still struggling with my projects and all. time time time...where art thou?

i'll be busy for the next few weeks....prob wun be blogging often or meeting up with ppl often. pls do understand!! really appreciate it =)

will keep all of u in my prayers...God loves us all.

i had such a feast!

Today turned out pretty good..thought i would be quite bored today since lessons end at 12. Thank God for friends...Min hwee, min joo and san came over to my room at 4 plus..and we were just having fun all the way crapping, singing, laughing, and just high-ing all the way. we had fun yea. =)

Then we headed to munchie munkeys for dinner coz pui sze wanted to see me..hahha thats according to wad mh said. :P and thanks to ps, now every staff in munchie knows me! since she and my bro works there...haha ps, dun u bully my bro! =P

we had such a feast and we really looked like we didn't have dinner for 3 days. We had:

- 2 bowls of chicken soup
- fried calamari
- crayfish pasta
- ham and cheese baked rice
- brownie with ice cream
- waffle with ice cream

GOSH. ok, i feel super super bloated after that somemore my dearies kept making me laugh so hard. or i made them laugh too hard too. oops! i just felt the song u all hum was like 'gong xi' song hahaha didn't know it was some oldie song.. we laughed so hard i think ppl thought we were insane. laughing with a full tummy is bad. after dinner, i felt so full to walk. walking to toilet was so difficult haha...and we still went to cheers to buy snacks. haha. we are hungry monsters. can't wait to eat the snack sandra recommended but i'm too full to eat now. Walked back from YIH to PGP..gosh, it was tiring.so hot and so full and upslope somemore. but sandra is strong haha kept saying it's just a short walk. i felt so full to breathe! yuting! we're alike i realise..i also feel like i can't breathe when i'm very full hahaha..miss you gal, u MIA so long already! meet up soon! and haha sandra, it was nevertheless a nice walk back...laughing at me for thinking 'feng huang' is pineapple and singing songs together! i'll see u every week la, dun worry! =) just so happen tmr i got project meeting so can't meet u for dinner..sorry ya.. and all the best for ur assignment and projects! go go bitsie! u can do it!

ok, i had a great time today..thank you dearies for entertaining me haha...and thanks ps for serving us too! happy to see u! =)

okiez, i'm really behind my schedule for work... =( i'll sleep late tonight if i can last. take care peeps..hugs

Random

Mid term tests are over for me...i guess other than FNA, the rest were ok. kinda didn't do well for today's fna..it's one of my weakest sub i feel but its ok, i still give thanks and will cont to work hard. no point lamenting about it anyway =)

anyway, these few days have been like a roller coaster ride for me. emotions wise and studies wise...but God never forsakes me. He wouldn't ever do that, to me or to any of you. Give thanks for that =) No matter how arduous the jouney of life maybe, no matter how unfair things may appear to be, no matter how painful relationships may get, no matter how badly some people may perceive you to be... we all know that God is with us n that we should focus not on how ppl think of us, but rather, how God thinks of us. coz we only wanna please God..and fulfill His expectations of us to be spirit filled soldiers, always living according to His will.

Guess this period wld be hectic to all of us..have to meet project datelines, rush tutorials, and by then, exams would have come. But let's all draw strength from Him, and work together towards the finishing line. Sandra, think u're probably too busy to read blogs nowadays thats why nvr update..i understand ur project datelines are all so tight..but i'm here to support you okie...and keeping u in my prayers as well...just keep going and keep trusting in Him. love ya. =)

i hope all my other friends are coping well.. do take care of your health and God bless all of u. huggss.

Liu Geng Hong & Evonne Hsu - xin dong xin tong

ohh haha sandra...u ever heard of this song?! its quite nice! we sing next time k!

ok..i better go back to studying now...so distracted by chinese pop :P

and jess..take gd care of ur health! will catch up with u soon..miss ya loads dear =) hugggss

Rainie Yang Cheng Lin - ke ai

I like this song =) coz the tune is really nice and soothing.

I guess english songs often make me ponder a lot coz the meaning is very evident.. haha chinese songs i tend to focus on the tune rather than the meaning..and it won't make me ponder so much..chinese songs cheer me up!

anyway, bitsies and mh! i miss u alll...i so wanna go k box! haha..but we're all so busy...i shall wait patiently for our next k box session ;)

can't wait for exams and projects to be overrrr...i wanna playyyy heez =)

Father, I'm sorry...

Above all kingdoms,
Above all thrones,
Above all wonders the world has ever known.
Above all wealth and treasures of the earth,
There's no way to measure what you're worth.

Crucified,
Laid behind the stone.
You lived to die,
Rejected and alone.
Like a rose trampled on the ground,
You took the fall and thought of me,
Above all.

Lord, sorry for disappointing you time and time again, i'm truly ashamed of myself. I've not lived according to Your will. I've failed to be a good disciple of Yours. I've sinned terribly, and praised you with an insincere heart. Time and time again, I've neglected you, taking You for granted. God, i really am not worth for Your love. Despite my uncountable sins, You have never forsaken me, never giving up hope on me. You're my creator, my God, my Father, my best friend, my lover, my saviour, my pillar, my redeemer, my teacher, my comforter. You've taken up all roles there can possibly have and fulfilled them without flaw and yet, i've failed to be a good daughter of Yours. Sorry God...i'm ashamed and i gladly bow down on my knees, surrendering my all to you. Take it, Lord...You know Father, how much i yearn to see you everyday..how much i desire to hold Your hand..to hug you so very tightly and never letting you go. Father, everytime i imagine You on the cross... it hurts me badly and i wish, i was there instead of You. So often, i wonder how heaven would be like, and wonder what's in store for me. I want to sit beside You, talk to You, laugh with You, play with You..God, i know You are hurt everytime i cry and when i'm in pain. I longed for your comfort, your guidance...but in all honesty, there are times i am desperately trying to hear Your voice. You know it all God..I'm crying out so badly to You, hoping You would respond to me immediately..but i know by faith, that You're there and that You've heard me and have cried with me. I don't know how my life would turn out to be, and i know i shouldn't be afraid of the future. But i'm Lord...I pray for strength right now, and this sense of inner peace that can come only from You. As i tear right now, You may not be here physically to wipe it dry for me..but o Lord, please reassure me of Your presence..I pray for revival of faith, that I would be strong no matter how difficult life may be, no matter how tiring it gets. This prayer God, i commit into Your hands.. i'm sorry and i love You... In Jesus most precious name, Amen.

[Guo yi, thanks for being so nice to pass me your external drive, full with Christian songs. As i struggled through the whole of today, your songs really encouraged and touched me...thanks for being such a blessing. God bless you.]

sometimes...i just wanna run far far away, yet i know, i can never run away from God...

Breathe on me, lamb of God.

Happy birthday mummy... =)

[decided to edit this post..felt i was a little insensitive in the unedited version yepp]

I know i have a test tmr and i haven't finish studying but oh well..this post is dedicated to my mummy so its important =)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA! ( bro and i call my mom 'ma' =P )

Despite our hectic schedules in sch, my bro and i made the effort to come back home today just to celebrate my mom's bday and give her a little surprise since unlike last time, i'll be away from home during her bday this year. After discussing our timetable, my bro and i managed to come up with an agreement; which is to come home at arnd 11 pm today since he only finishes his tuition at 10.30! busy bro! =) but really thank him for making the effort to get my mom a cake and pressie (pink cardigan - my bro has gd taste!) and i went to get the card :P he got no mid term test to study heh. but nevertheless, the surprise turned out great. We went home together, quietly prepared the cake on the dining table with the gifts and we both went up to my parents' room and SURPRISE! =) My mom initial look was puzzled (probably wondering if she saw us correctly) haha..yes, i'm home! to add on, she called me at 9.30 today to ask me the usual stuff like drink water and all...and she knew i had a test tmr..so she really didn't expect i wld come home. after realising that it was really me and my bro, she smiled and asked how come suddenly come back..haha she got a shock. yay..surprise accomplished! poor daddy was more sick than before..he got mc today. sigh. really hope he gets better! anyway, we asked our parents to go downstairs..and there was the cake and gifts.

The smile on my mom's face says it all.

We sang happy birthday, gathered around the dining table and eat the cake and my mom tried on the cardigan and read the card. hee...my bro is gd at buying gifts! it suits my mom perfectly =) really nice pinkish red colour!

and my dad was concerned. he looked at me while i was eating and said...how come u getting thinner day by day? haha i was like..hmm really meh? then i just said coz i've been sleeping little, too much work, and pgp food really sucks. haha. but i still eat! anyway, its nice to spend time with my family on such special occassion. really warm =)

and tmr's mle test seems so insignificant at that point in time. putting a smile on my mom's face is much more important and valauble =) really glad she was happy and touched. happy birthday ma...we love you!

I've been too stretched lately..probably because my body isn't well at the same time. Yest was really bad! i felt nauseous and giddy during maths lect, and i had to go to the toilet and vomit. but i didn't eat much in the morn. guess the phlegm is choking me..had to cough it out! and then i had a really long day yest..from 8 am all the way to 8.30 pm. project meeting for 4 over hours and everyone was so quiet. sigh. but nevertheless, managed to get wad we wanted done..and sunday morn, i've to go back sch to do video. bah. i'm skipping sunday's service...i don't want to, but there's no other days my team members can meet and the dateline is very near. but despite all the tiredness, God spoke to me yest. I prayed to God for strength coz i felt i was breaking down. i sat on my bed, took out my bible, and just opened it. it just so happened that i opened the book of eccelessiates. (dunno how to spell) and it really is so real. Chapt 1 talks about how wisdom and all other pursuits are meaningless if it's not for the glory of God. all the tutorials, lectures, tests, projects, canoeing courses, publicity work...wad will all this come to if i don't use it for God? really..we don't have to do all these to prove our abilities coz God already know our limits. why do we have to prove to ourself that we can do it when we already know that with God, all things can be done? there's no need for competition to prove our abilities coz by faith, we know things will turn out fine.

we can never be the best since God will always be the best. so just do our best, and leave the rest to God! it's that simple yet many of us, even me, can't apply it to our lives. when we do well, how often do we attribute these grades to God's work? or do we claim credit for ourselves, thinking that we are just capable..its my ability..my intelligence..my hardwork. really, i think all of us should constantly remind ourself that its not about 'me', but its about Him. our lives is not for us, it's for Him.

think i've said too much! better cont mugging now..friends, do cont to pray for me okie! i've got meeting agains straight after tmr's test till late at night..and meeting on friday again! church on sat, project on sunday, bible study on mon, and tue fna test! GOSH. i'm so dead. plus tutorials, plus research, plus canoeing course coming, plus canoeing publicity work. ARGH. when i'm weak, He will lift me up. i will just commmit all these into His hands.