MRT vs Life

I got this from someone's blog...shall not disclose who..but i hope he/she doesn't mind =) Thought it was really meaningful and insightful, and just wanna share with my blog readers...

Ever sat in an MRT train and watched the different people?

Some dozing off, some listening to their MP3 players, some reading papers, some just talking to others - everyone trying to do their own thing..

Everyone in their own world..

Yet there's one thing they share that is the same - their travelling in the same direction inside the train (eastwards or westwards..)

Some will get off earlier and some later .. Some will ride the train till its final stop .. and then get off ..

Its much like life ain't it?

Everyone does their own thing, some are out to make big bucks, some are out to make big families ..

Whatever their aims - they're all going the same way, and one day, DEATH overtakes us all ..

Some will depart earlier and some later .. and some last until the End of Days ..
But all have to get off the train one day ..

Question is: when you get off Life's train, will you have the right card to get out of the underground subway, to the place above? Or remain stuck for all eternity, underground?

-end-

at the end of the day, when i look at own reflection, all i see of myself is a stained piece of cloth...terribly disgraced and ashamed with the sins i've committed, the unholy thoughts that linger, the malicious tongue that speaks...wish i could be more perfect for the glory of God.

happy birthday =)

specially for you: Happy 22nd birthday =)

Hope you like the present i made for you... :)

on this very special day, i just wanna thank God for you. For everything you've done and sacrificed for me. Thanks for lighting up my life.

I pray that you'll continue to be a huge blessing to those arnd you, and cont being a living testimony for Christ. Thank God for your birth. Truly, you've touched many hearts, many lives...esp me. Thanks for being so special.

I had an enjoyable time today..and i'm sure u too. East coast was bright and sunny, visiting your church and praying in your church's sanctuary was meaningful, watching 'just follow law' was funny, visiting the botanical gardens and feeding the fishes and terapins and birds was absolutely memorable and refreshing. Hope you enjoyed this special day! =)

all the effort was worth it as long as you're happy =) stay happy k and i'll be happy :)

lets cont to strive for the Lord, and study for God and win this race for His glory k! with you always...

-happy birthday dear-

hugs :)

am i still me?

Recently, i realised i've been thinking a lot about the future..

When i'm bored during visiting, my mind always drift thinking about you, the future that lies ahead...to the point where i thought about death.

The topic of death came into my mind when i visited my grandparents ashes at All Saints Home. I know females' life expectancy is much higher than men...my grandma died 9 years later than my granddad. Then i thought, if i were to be married, what if my hubby died earlier..then i'll be alone..assuming my children aint filial enough haha.

I begin to think about marriage, my own home next time, whether i'll work, whether i shld migrate...

all these thoughts about the future...and i'm only 19 now. Am i maturing? haha. i suddenly feel the lost of urge to do adventurous stuff nowadays, lost the excitement to play or crack jokes. What has happened to me? or am i just in one of those mood swings. =)

And recently, i've been so sleepy...been falling asleep so often these days...like falling asleep at 12 plus at night..and waking up at 4 plus and cont sleeping. And this routine is making me really sleepy in the day and i just can't do anything productive. Maybe thats why i feel so listless nowadays...

hopefully, i'll start regaining my energy soon.

-miss you as always-

chinese new year!

Since its a festive mood, i took some pictures during reunion dinner and chinese new year itself! can brighten up my blog a bit hee hee.

REUNION DINNER - MARINA SOUTH LONG BEACH













snap shot of my 2 cousins' conversation. Both just entered jc =) my 2 closest cousin hee hee, whom we used to play so much during childhood days...those were the times..












haha what can i say? this is how mothers gossip! (oops! haha..see their serious expressions...wonder what they talking about. and i have to add...every year desert is either 'orh knee' dunno how to spell or 'red bean soup'..can next year be coconut sago or smth haha!)












haha look at my cousins! the family of 5! with 3 ladies wearing tailor made chong sum. sooo cute!
















hee hee. my fav lil cousin! we teased her and said she looked like cyrstal jade waitress! lol...and her sis was asking her to serve tea and xiao long bao..!
















whoa its so hard to make her smile and take a pic..i had to bribe her with my hp haha
















hur hur... =)

hee hee..me again.

ok thats all for pictures! didn't really take a lot using my hp..

OH! my cousin is getting married on 18Mar! MY FIRST COUSIN TO GET MARRIED! ho ho ho..my first wedding dinner! and i was approached to be her bridesmaid...shld i shld i? think it'ld be so fun! get to wear gown somemore! hee hee hee.

ok..now waiting for visitors to come and gtg to another aunt's place for lunch. every year, this lunch will be super good. coz she cooks really well...!! and she has osim massage chair haha.

ok..thats it! happy cny ppl!

CNY festive mood!

YAY!

Chinese New Year is here again!!!

BOO!

Mid term tests are coming!!!

BUT!

still, this festive season is a time to bond with my family, cousins, relatives and so on...must take this time and catch up with all of them! =)

and yes, i know i've got to study. sigh. such a spoiler.

ohh and i'm thoroughly amused by the amount of cny goodies my mum bought. I just reached home and when i looked at the cabinet! WAH! SO MANY RED CONTAINERS! hahaha and they look really yuummmyy!

and you know me. haha

i stared at them. and opened the one that caught my eye and there it went into my mouth. munch munch. hmm nice! =) crispy, fresh, tasty! haha.

i'm gonna turn into a pig this new year. ho ho ho.

and i can't wait for 23/2 :)

7 days...won't be long. coz eternity lasts forever. =)

[ppl, i just have to officially declare i've 5 MID TERM TESTS after the break!! sigh....nus..chem eng...sigh :P]

- and i'm sad this new year coz my bro is away in manchester... :( but i'll still collect ang pao for him! =)

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!

you

happy valentine's day!

It's a special day
full of love in the air...

everyday is valentine's day actually.
With God, with my parents, with my beloved friends, and you.

Thank you friends for all the small little sweets and all. feel so warm
And thank you for all 3 parts of your gift....all the surprises =)

It was so meaningful, spending that special day with God and you.
beautiful.

i'm sorry i've been stressed.
sorry to cause you worries.
but i'll pull through.
knowing you're there.
and i'm there for you.

-you-

Braving the storm with you...

I know that...

life is not meant to be a bed of roses.
Life has never been meant to be smooth.
Life has never been meant to be a straight road.

Life can be difficult, life can be rocky, life can be such a roller coaster ride.

But God's love has never been like that of a sine curve. God's love has always been abundant, so plentiful, so perfect.

I know that you're tired. You're struggling within. Things you've been desiring for for so long doesn't seem to be reachable. Things are becoming worse. You just feel like they don't care. They don't think it matters. You just feel like ... running away...

So often, I myself feel like running away to some faraway place when i'm troubled, when i'm lost, when i'm tired. But we can never run away from God. He'll know where we are, no matter how far we run..there's never a perfect hiding place other than the Lord.

Just wanna tell you that though it might take a lot of strength from you, a lot of tears...but keep going. Don't quit this race. Be strong in the presence of the Lord. Lean on Him, and He will guide you out of this rocky road...His love for you transcends all understanding. God's plan for you is always perfect and pleasing.

Just keep trusting...and do His will.

Pray, pray and pray...keep communicating with God.

and at the end of it all, you know you will always be safe in His arms.

I'm with you, always...you can cry on my shoulders, whine, vent your frustration...i'll be there. Lets lay all these troubles and burdens at the foot of the cross.

with you...

-hugs-

Have you ever wondered...?

Have you ever wondered what you would do if you're heartbroken?

Have you ever wondered what's the first thing you would do if you're lost?

Have you ever wondered what's the first thought you would think if you've failed?

Have you ever wondered who would be there when you're down?

Have you ever wondered who would care for you when you're sick?

Have you ever wondered who would love you forever with a true heart?

Have you ever wondered that life is short?

Have you ever wondered what you want out of life?

Have you ever wondered what's the purpose of living?

Have you ever wondered...have you ever wondered..have you ever wondered.....

have u ever wondered who God is?

He's such a mighty, awesome God. The One who never forsakes His children...The One who shows the greatest love for you and for me. He cares for you when u're sick, when you're down. He's there for you when you're tired. He takes away your stresses, takes away your sadness, takes away your pain.

what more can we asked for?

Yet, when we're faced with struggles, our initial reaction is to fluster and solve them on your own. Where's God in your life? Have you ever wondered that God's there?

Total dependence on God..thats what we need. When we're down, sick, in pain, in difficulty, the first thing we should always do is to depend on Him. PRAY. prayer works wonders. you won't know till you do it.

=)

although today was really unproductive for me...and you broke your phone...but we were there for each other. =) We still thank God for today, for everything that has happened. For lessons were learnt through all these. We learn and grow. Despite the short 45 mins, it was special. i'm special, and you're special. Thanks for dropping by =)

i'm terribly struggling with my modules now. Hmm, it may be demoralising...but its ok, my hope continues to dwell in the Lord. I'll do my best however much i dislike the subject. Persevering i shall be. Striving to run the race for the Lord. It's always about Him, and not about me. This studying road as a student will not be for my glory but His.

you said i have grown much over the past several months...i've become more mature...hmmm...have i? =) *ponders* hehe.

the karaoke conversation is sooo sweet and cute. thank uuu!!!
*beams*

tired, but happy =)

thank you mummy! =)

its friday again..and i'm back home! yay...i love to be back home in the east.

it feels so warm...it feels exactly where i belong...home, nothing beats more than home.

my mummy told me she bought new year clothes for me..and showed them to me. 3 tops and 2 bottoms! 3 really sweet blouses and 2 skirts. =) i like them! i thought i had to wear old clothes this new year coz i didn't bother to go out and buy but mummy knows i was too busy to go shopping..and bought them for me!

=) and she has good taste!

yay =) can't wait for cny..not mid terms though. this cny, my aunt from london came down. so she'll be spending cny with us! =)

reunion dinner next fri and sat! can't wait! all the gooood food and get together with relatives!

once again, thank u mummy! =)

And i know my hope dwells in the Lord forever...

and my hope is in the Lord forever...

forever it shall be.

=)

Running back to Him...

I've fallen, but i'm gonna stand up. At the end of the day, i'll run back to God and i'm running back now. He's my refuge, my shelter, my hope, my strength. I can only say Amen to that.

sorry for the last 2 demoralising and pessimistic posts, think i might have scared some people off...but i'm fine now. i'm smiling at least =)

For the past few days, i felt really disappointed with myself. Felt that my world is crashing, felt so ashamed with my attitude with God, with love, with so many issues that bombard me incessantly. I felt so bogged down the past night...shed tears...sighed so much...and just felt lost. I questioned myself if i truly love God, if i truly have that faith in Him..questioned myself about who i am...why am i in such a state now? Where's my identity? Have i changed to become another person that i don't recognise anymore? I know myself that i'm easily influenced esp by people and the environment...that every influence i get seems to change a little part of me...so much so that as though i'm losing myself along the way. The thought made me cry, made me frustrated, ashamed and lost.

But as i bucked up my courage to swallow my tears and went for cell group just now, i begin to see things from a different perspective. I kept going to the toilet today, so i can msg you and just let the tears flow...i didn't wanna cry infront of anybody. I tried to swallow my tears and went for worship. As i sang, i felt comforted. God was consoling me...my eyes were teary but i did not cry. I know God was speaking to me this day. During cell group time, we discussed about prayer..what it takes to have a God centered prayer. And it dawned on me that God is speaking to me....this week, campus crusade dg also talked about prayer..and i've been troubled over prayer. coz i myself am truly aware that my prayer walk with God has been erratic. It's like a sine curve, going up and down. And recently, it was at its lowest.

Prayer for the last few months has been so routined. I pray with you everyday..but do i feel it in my heart? When i pray, it seems to be all about me..and not about God. Today i learnt that prayer is not merely presenting my requests to God, and letting God endorse it and approve it. Prayer is not about what we want...but about what God wants from us. In this life story of ours, we are not the main characters of the story...we're not the princess or prince, but rather, we're just one minor character..and the director of the story is God. He directs our life, and not us. We don't choose what we want, but we abide in God. God-centered prayer...how important it is.

Ben gave a really good analogy today. Imagine its christmas, and you secretly found out that your dad has bought a x box as a christmas present for you. And on christmas, you would obviously be happy that u got the x box even though you did not ask for it. Because your dad has bought it for you!

In the same way, God, as our father, already have good gifts installed for us. We, as His children, should abide in Him and know what He has for us, rather than asking it from Him. Prayer is not just about petition all the time...we don't just pray coz we want things from God..we don't just pray when we are desperate. In fact, we get desperate coz our walk with God hasnt been strong. And that really describes me..how i often pray when i'm struggling...

I believe God has spoke to me today. That He has provide a way out for me...He has clearly showed me that as i run back to Him, i have to first discipline myself and start having God-centered prayer...to talk to Him and be receptive of what He has to say to me. He has comforted my soul, took away my tears, abound me with love...and truly, He's the Father of all.

so friends, i hope my testimonoy will encourage us not to be afraid to fall. But realise that we have a loving God who is always there for us...let us be His beacon of light, be the salt and light of this world.

I'm gonna start a prayer journal...as my whole cell suggested. Think it would really allow me to see how God answers my prayers.

to you, please don't worry anymore. if God is with me, no one can be against me. Not even satan. Not the world. thank you for always being there. we'll walk this journey step by step, with faith, hope and love in our heavenly Father.

i'm pondering if i've lost my identity..

maybe i do not know who i am anymore..

i feel energy-less.

i'm back...

It's been a long time since i last blogged. Well, i was fasting from non-nus and email websites and 1 meal fast for the past 10 days...but perhaps, i fasted for the wrong reasons and somehow, it's disappointing when i reflect upon myself again and again. Guess i was more of telling myself that i could do it than depending on God and being more receptive on my senses for Him.

sigh what can i say...disappointed as i am, ashamed as i am, i know God's unfailing love is always there. That He never forsakes me and He hears my cries.

i need a spiritual revival.

it dawned on me now that i really am nothing. a person with countless flaws, who always blames herself and puts herself down with her imperfection.

maybe God should just take everything away from me right now so whatever i have left is just God's love..and then i know how empty it is not to have His love.

a struggle within.

be strong.

be with me. i need you.