am i still me?

Recently, i realised i've been thinking a lot about the future..

When i'm bored during visiting, my mind always drift thinking about you, the future that lies ahead...to the point where i thought about death.

The topic of death came into my mind when i visited my grandparents ashes at All Saints Home. I know females' life expectancy is much higher than men...my grandma died 9 years later than my granddad. Then i thought, if i were to be married, what if my hubby died earlier..then i'll be alone..assuming my children aint filial enough haha.

I begin to think about marriage, my own home next time, whether i'll work, whether i shld migrate...

all these thoughts about the future...and i'm only 19 now. Am i maturing? haha. i suddenly feel the lost of urge to do adventurous stuff nowadays, lost the excitement to play or crack jokes. What has happened to me? or am i just in one of those mood swings. =)

And recently, i've been so sleepy...been falling asleep so often these days...like falling asleep at 12 plus at night..and waking up at 4 plus and cont sleeping. And this routine is making me really sleepy in the day and i just can't do anything productive. Maybe thats why i feel so listless nowadays...

hopefully, i'll start regaining my energy soon.

-miss you as always-