Today, today.. have been an extraordinary day.

Truly, today is probably the first time i felt so drained. Emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually.

That I felt so tired to do anything but to stare at my notes with negative thoughts lingering all over my head. I suppressed my feelings, and tried to smile. I guess i was successful since no one questioned if i was ok. Perhaps i have mastered that skill. The library seems to be my home in nus, a place where it is relatively quiet and i don't have to talk or smile and can just quietly pretend to study and escape from the world.

Today, i felt like running away..to somewhere far far away. I imagined myself hiding in some deserted place at night...imagined myeslf going abroad and wander around till i got lost...Today, i felt tired from asking God to guide me. Somehow, i have been praying and praying but i'm impatient. I want an ans. And i know God told me not to be anxious. Perhaps God is tired of listening to me everyday. Though i know everyone wld tell me otherwise.

Today is extraordinary coz God heard me. I was depressed, in distress, and Jess's msg came right in time, asking me if everything was alright. Dear, i know you're with me and it warms my heart. God sent her to me. Thankful for that. I was on the brink of tears, but i held on. and somehow, sandra was arnd to brighten me up. I realised then that in bad times, i cannot be left alone. Foolish thoughts will flood my mind. i would need things to occupy my thoughts.

Thanks san for the wonderful dinner we had and the awesome night we had yest. will upload the pics another time.

Through it all, God pulled me through today and i should be more than thankful. my faith is probably not as strong, but i hope its enough to sustain me through. and truly, no matter how many bad times we may have, you've been a true blessing. thank God for you. The human's heart is an amazing little thing God has created..something so mysterious and bewildering. or is it just me..perhaps..i'm truly disappointed with myself.